Hey hey hey! After a restful seasonal break the one and only Ohnaka is back! Let’s kick off those shoes and relax – Hondo is here to help ease your worried mind! It’s Help from Hondo time!
I have a friend who started watching this British show called Doctor Who. He talks about it a lot now, saying things like “TARDIS” and “sonic screwdriver” and “Dalek.” I have grown more and more concerned over time. For one thing, like I said, this is a British show but he and I are U.S. Citizens. I mean really Hondo, why did we fight a War of Independence from the British just to watch their television shows!?!?! Plus, he and I USED to talk about Star Wars all the time, discussing highly esteemed characters like yourself, but now all he wants to do is talk about this Doctor Whoooo is apparently going to be a woman for the very first time (which is crazy, right, I mean you’d think Whoooooever the Doctor is would have already been a woman a few times!). Hondo, I could really use your help here. If I don’t stop this insanity I might never get me friend back, and he might never want to talk about YOU because he always wants to talk about WHO!!!!
Your Humble American Servant, The I.T.
Hondo says: Knock knock. Who’s there? Doctor. Doctor Who! Haha! Oh Boy, Old Hondo loves a joke, I crack myself up! Okay let’s get serious. I think that you and I need to hatch a small, shall we say “covert” operation to put an end to these silly notions that your young friend has adopted. Think good sir! If you don’t stop this British Invasion you soon have “innocent” Mop Tops trying and hold your hands and singing about Eggmen and Walruses! *shudders*. I mean you don’t want this fellow starting to accuse you of “whinging” and talking about eating “crisps”. Pretty soon he’ll be asking you for a good old chinwag on the mobile! Who is this Doctor Who anyway, what kind of person has a name that is also a question? I don’t trusts these academic types in any event– you and I my friend we live by our wits! I shall contact you privately – you can’t organise a mission like this in a popular fan website!! We shall speak soon friend, Hondo Out!
I’ve been thinking of setting up a little panel at celebration. I’m sure there are no vested interests in the fan base who would hamper or compete with me. How would I do this?
Hondo says: Ah! I’m afraid this is a very difficult thing for me to advise on my loyal and humble reader! You will know of that mining guild that I have to contend with in my legitimate business activities. What is little known however is that there is also a Star Wars Fandom Guild! Shocking to the average fan, I know! A very dicey bunch to contend with, even for an experienced pirate such as myself. I’m afraid friend that this group are cunning and ruthless. We must be cautious. There are ways of getting into this celebration you speak of but you need to mingle with some very unsavoury types. Even if you have been at this Star Wars game for a long time, when you think that you have a spot secured these sneaky Loth cats can sabotage you at the last minute.
Let’s me just say mud sticks and some know how to sling it under more than one alias! Say no more! I believe there is a forum where these celebrations are discussed in a clandestine fashion and choreographed behind the scenes so reputations can be built up or tarnished. A treacherous game this event! I would certainly ward you off any expectation of a level playing field these days. It’s all sewn up my friend to make some look good and keep them in a nice little professional number! Better to go as a fan and enjoy yourself!
Now, a game of Monopoly?
Okay! That’s it from Hondo for this week! Thank you to all of you who wrote in and we are sorry we couldn’t get Hondo to answer all your mail this week. As you will appreciate he is very busy with his legitimate business interests. We will get to them eventually.
Do you have a problem that Hondo can help you with? Contact us with your woes on Twitter at @partisancantina or e-mail us at email@example.com -remember to use the hashtag #WeeklyWeequayWisdom.
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