HELP FROM HONDO!

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We at the partisancantina.com are very pleased to announce a new weekly feature on the site! We are lucky to have enrolled everyone’s favorite Weequay to share his wisdom with us as our new advice columnist. Each week he will select a few problems sent in from the Star Wars fan base and will provide his wise counsel to help solve your conundrums. Just drop him a note and we will arrange for a response from everyone’s favorite pirate. See below for this week’s wisdom as well as the contact details for future weeks!

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Dear Hondo,

Please help me, you are my only hope. Two of my Star Wars friends on Twitter have started an argument about what is more lovable, Puffer Pigs or Loth Cats. This argument is starting to get really heated. Loads of people have joined in the argument and people are getting really nasty about it. I love both Puffer Pigs and Loth-Cats – what should I do?

Signed Cecil B DeMille

Hondo says: You have come to the right place my friend deMille! Glad to be of assistance – and my rates are very reasonable you will be glad to hear. I had a situation like this back in The Clone Wars; I was delivering some legitimate cargo to some friends of mine from Onderon (some of them now help with this site I believe) when all of a sudden the Separatists arrived and started causing some trouble! Now listen to me friend, no matter who you are pals with you don’t want to hang around when things get messy! I made my excuses and said “Oh my, look at the time – my work is done!”. Luckily for you I can provide some clear advice on this issue; I may not be as young as I once was, but I am older. I hear this Twitter place makes the Clone Wars look like a walk in the park, so my advice to you is to cut and run, simply stay out of this battle unless you are making some kind of profit!

P.S. What kind of a fool prefers a Puffer Pig over a Loth-Cat, one of your friends is an imbecile of course.

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Dear Hondo,

My 6 year old daughter has taken to hiding the TV remote control from me. This is a trick I used to pull on her so I could watch my sports at the weekend in peace. Now she’s started copying me and I’m stuck watching Alvin and the Chipmonks all the time! Should I simply ban her from watching TV altogether if she keeps up this subterfuge?

Please help, feeling frustated

Hondo says: Good news my frustrated friend! I have the solution to your problem and I can source one for you at a very very competitive rate! I am always here to help for the right price. Years ago my old friend Kenobi introduced me to one of those glowy things, that go voom-voom. A Lightsaber believe he called it. Well guess what? They now make these to act as one of those remote control things you refer to! I have asked the administrator of this site to add a picture of one below. Please get in touch about my finders fee. You are welcome my friend!!!! Soon you will be able to be a TV Jedi in your home again.

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Do you have a problem that Hondo can help you with? Contact us with your woes on Twitter at @partisancantina or e-mail us at partisancantina@gmail.com  -remember to use the hashtag #WeeklyWeequayWisdom.

 

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